Lately I have been struggling with feeling guilty about not doing enough, even though each night I go to bed completely and utterly exhausted because of everything that is required of me as a mother and wife. I don't have a calling right now and I usually do, so therefore, I was struggling with feeling like I didn't have a lot to offer. It has made me feel insignificant and sometimes brought me to tears. Today in Sunday School at church, there was part of a lesson given in which the teacher asked if we ever felt weary. Of course, my hand shot up and I expressed how tough my life is right now with all the small children I have to take care of. Our teacher then told of a story (from the Ensign) of another mother of small children who was feeling like she wasn't doing enough- she was not clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, etc. Then Heavenly Father helped her to see that she was doing those very things each day in raising her children. She was clothing her children, feeding her hungry children, etc. It didn't have to be others in the ward or community, she was giving what was needed in this time and season of her life. This story hit me hard today. Heavenly Father testified to me that perhaps this is my time and season to care for and nurture my children, His children, to teach them and love them (and that temporarily this is enough for me to do.) I am grateful Heavenly Father took the time to let me know things were okay, that maybe the reason I don't have a calling right now is that I cannot possibly put one more thing on my plate. It is not required of me to run faster than I have strength. He knows me better than I know myself and I need to trust that. I am grateful for a Sunday School teacher who took the time to act on inspiration and for my Heavenly Father for showing me a tender mercy today.
Kim Meacham
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The intent of this blog is to UPLIFT and strengthen each other in faith in Jesus Christ and in the plan of our Father in Heaven. All members of the Les and Ruth Ford family are invited to contribute.
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6 comments:
I'm so glad that you shared the experience you had today and the insight (new perspective) you gained. That story was a great example - so glad that the teacher was inspired to share it and that you were so open to receiving the personal revelation that you needed at this time in your life. You learned a very important truth.
Motherhood is definitely the highest calling a woman can fulfill.
I've felt the same way. I hadn't had a calling in about a year, and was released from my last one because I asked to be. After Ashley died and I was taking care of Ava and Mia I tried to fulfill my calling the best I could, but it became overwhelming. Taking care of the the two very little ones on top of my own four children was about all I could handle at the time, but I kept thinking if Heavenly Father wanted me to serve I would serve. However, there came a time when it was just too much and I asked to be released. I think sometimes we have to recognize our own needs as well and ask for those things. Just recently I was given a calling, and the thing about it is that I hadn't been ready for one for a long time, but the very day after I wrote in my journal that I was ready to serve I received a call from the bishop brick, and was given a calling the next Sunday. That was a testament to me that God knows us and sometimes we have to be the ones that says we are ready, and we are able to give the service that is needed of us.
I felt bad when I wasn't serving in the church, but came to the same conclusion that your Sunday school teacher shared. My role as a mother, and taking on the care of two more children was my calling. There has never been a doubt that I'm doing what I should be by taking care of the girls. I'm still doing those things, but as they get older it's easier be able to give more of my time to other callings.
Thanks for your thoughts Kim!!
Stefanie,
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and thoughts also. I can definitely relate to the daily
challenges of raising a family. I admire how you have taken on the added responsibility of
mothering your two adorable nieces, as well. It is a great blessing that they have you to
give them such good care and lots of love.
Even without the added responsibilities like you have, I struggled as a young mother - I remember that many days I simply slipped into "survival" mode. I know that I worried a lot -
perhaps it was because I felt that I could rarely accomplish all that I wanted to do. I often fell short of unrealistic goals (that is, until I learned to set realistic ones.) I remember the days (there were lots of them) when frustrations and stresses seemed to overwhelm the joys or "sweet" moments. But there were good days too. It was definitely
a stage of life in which I often felt like I was riding a rollercoaster (especially in emotions)
of ups and downs. I made many mistakes as a mom, so I CAN'T say that my memories
of mothering are "glorious" (though my memories of my children as they were growing up are filled with love for them and admiration for each of their unique personalities).
I CAN say that the stages I went through and that my children went through, as they were growing up (and as I was "growing up" with them), gave me great opportunity for personal growth and for service to my family which has blessed and continues to bless my life now. I wouldn't trade the relationships and bond that I have with
them now, despite the challenges we faced, for anything else in the world.
You made a wise choice, Stefanie, to "simplify" at a time when you truly needed to focus
completely on caring for your family and for Ava and Mia's needs. I know that Heavenly Father
sees & understands (perfectly) our personal needs and the desires and needs of our family.
I know that he understands (perfectly) our physical and emotional challenges or limitations also. I know that he understands mine. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father's tender mercies and for his understanding and wisdom in allowing each of us our agency in figuring out WHAT things need to take priority WHEN and in figuring out (& making decisions on) HOW to keep balance in our lives. I am STILL constantly learning how to balance between the "not running faster than I have strength" and the "going forward with diligence in doing what I know (or the Lord knows) I am ready and able to do". I'm grateful for what I have learned, and continue to learn, about making choices
and setting priorites, because it helps me to be aware of and understand the feelings and circumstances of others when they too must choose priorities and make their own personal decisions on what they need to add or subtract from their current responsibilities in life.
To all you mothers in the family - I am in AWE (seriously) of your courage and fortitude,
regardless of all the challenges of the world. You are all so very very important to the
generations that follow. I love Heavenly Father's plan. I am deeply grateful for the
Atonement, for the gift of repentance and forgiveness - I really depend on these gifts.
It is what gives me HOPE each day.
Stefanie,
You are a Hero in my eyes! Ava and Mia are so blessed to have you! I love you!,
Aunt Vicki
oh, and Kim,
I think raising a family is the most challenging responsibility the Lord places upon us. By taking care of your children, you are definitely serving Heavenly father. I think it was the hardest time of my life! Now I get to reap the benefits by having my grand-children. I think you are awsome! Not many people could do what you do! You are also my Hero!
I love you ,
Aunt Vicki
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