Okay, so usually for me whenever revelation is received it's that still small voice. As the days come and go, it's one little direction after another.
However, there are times in my life when revelation seems to bang me in the head! One example of that is when I was 19 and living in Kaysville with my sister, Kristen. I had a meeting with the bishop and he told me he thought I needed to go to school and get an education (and it was kind of out of no where). At that time I thought, "No way! That's what I came here for -to avoid school and have fun.. and meet some cute boys." A few months later, however, it hit me that he was right. And along came that big BANG on the head. (Fortunately for me, that lead me to BYU where I met my man).
Another example is when I began dating Brett. Or shall I say, when he began dating me. I thought he was a cool friend, but nothing more. Then on our third date, when I told him I wanted to go on a mission, his face looked heart broken. And then came along a big BANG! And I wondered what it was that I didn't like about him. When I couldn't come up with anything good, I knew I needed to give him a chance. That was the best decision in my life!
Once again, last night was one of those big BANGs. Brett and I were debating about what to do with the next few years while he went to school. For the past few years he's been working full-time and going to school full-time. But after getting accepted into the program that he wanted (Information Systems), he was told he could only work 20 hours a week. Period! Well, I wanted to show those who told him such things that I would appeal this decision. So.. I was about to send his professor an e-mail explaining that Brett can handle the full-time work. Otherwise, we knew we would have to take on huge loan debts and that made me sick to the stomach. I asked Brett if he wanted to pray about it to get some direction. At that point, we both fell asleep and after waking up I was completely out of energy and weak. It hit me, BANG! We had already been told no AND already we were feeling worn out from school before he even started this next semester, so the full-time work thing wasn't really an option.
Sometimes it hurts when you get banged in the head like that. But I'm so grateful for those times because it shows that Heavenly Father's willing to help me out, even if it causes pain. It always does help in the end. I know that Heavenly Father truly knows what will make us the most happy in our lives. We just have to trust him and sometimes simply put our lives in his hands. It works! Trust Him!
1 comment:
Staci,
I understand exactly what you are saying. (You know I had a similar experience with Dad when I was dating him, as you had when dating Brett. So glad you followed that "bang" feeling that led to you marrying Brett. So glad that I followed that "bang" feeling so that it led to my marriage to Dad.). I've found that "Bang" feelings usually come when we are finally open to receiving them. Anyway, life's experiences have taught me a lot in regards to trusting in God and following that "bang" feeling, even when I personally would have preferred (at the time) to do something different (even the opposite). It was due to that "bang" feeling that Dad accepted a job in Illinois and we moved here, even though I did not want to leave our family and Utah. It turned out to be the right thing to do for many different reasons, though I could not understand the reasons at the time. Now we will need to pay attention to that "bang" feeling when Dad retires. We know that we want to serve a mission, but have no idea where we want to move to in the future, or if we should move at all. I am sure that we will have all kinds of mixed emotions and feelings about what we should do, but that "bang" feeling will come and as we follow that feeling all will turn out for the best.
I'm glad that you are listening to that "bang" feeling in relation to Brett's schooling and job. Everything will work out the way that it needs to and you will be happy with your decision.
Love,
Mom
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